I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
