I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
