I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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