After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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