Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
