Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
