Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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