if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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