Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
