I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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