You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
