I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
