just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
