I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
