As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize