So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
