So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
