i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
