you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
