it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
