im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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