he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
