There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
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I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
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Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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