Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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