Me too!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can I color on your dick again?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
