your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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