Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I came so hard my ears popped.
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