Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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