You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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