you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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