I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
