Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
they need to just BURY HIM!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
