Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He passed out mid-signature
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
