They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
