As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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