why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
