I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
