Whats the glycemic index on semen?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
