She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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