woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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