therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
