So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
