as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
