I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
