Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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