I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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