You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize