Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
