Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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