nut hugger
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
