every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize