oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
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The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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