Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize