Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
