I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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