i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
