2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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